Five years ago

I got nostalgic and went through some of my FB statuses from five years ago that I posted just before my daughter was born. I was very surprised to find that I indeed had a life before she was born! However, a few days after the due date given to me by the doctor had passed, I got bored and a little bit anxious and my FB status showed it.

The little girl therefore decided to come soon after and my status updates changed from 'bored' to 'sleepless'. Sleepless, because I was not allowed to have a full night's sleep for the next nine months. I nearly lost my mind. Luckily, I did not, but I did loose my healthy eyes. Now, I suffer from a 'dry eye' condition that will never go away because I stayed awake for too long.

Staying awake meant that I was always tired and unhappy. I became even more unhappy for being unhappy. Before she was born, I thought motherhood would be all bliss, but it turned out to be a harrowing experience most of the time. After nine months of pure hell, I trained the girl to sleep and we all lived happily ever after.

Now, we sleep throughout the night and my eye condition is manageable. But, combined with other health issues and life's problems in general, my eye condition sometimes worsens, like it has done so now. Being my own doctor, I have diagnosed that the flare up of my dry eye problem is currently being caused by: pollen, PhD, homesickness and negative thoughts. Honey can cure the negative thoughts but it cannot do away with the pollen, my PhD is still two years away at least and I am not going home any time soon.

So, my only recourse is to get some much needed rest and remember that I have been through worse. With my daughter now five years old and talking like she is ten, I have lots of reasons to smile. She motivates me to keep trying. She is a great teacher, come to think of it. She has taught me how to work really hard but to try and still be soft. I am a slow learner though. But, I figure, if we are given five more years together, I will be so learned!