Building confidence

By now you know I have a knack for using catchy titles just to get you to read my posts. If I was honest, I would add a question mark to today's title. I too, continue to struggle with my confidence: One day I think I have got it, then the next, I loose it.

When I do think I have got it, Life, skillfully and insidiously, sends along someone to questions me. Such a person, pokes at my bloated ego with the sole purpose of reminding me to be fragile, to be human. I want to hate such a person, but I know I need them. I need their negative energy to balance my self-satisfaction or over-zealousness. Or just to provide more options by widening my narrow perspective.

The negative-energy people are indeed necessary, but I would rather hang around the positive-energy people. The kind that boost my confidence and put a smile on my face with their acknowledgement. The positive-energy people help me get over my disappointments by urging me on. They provide some rest for my weary soul. Like Jack and Gwen. Definitely positive-energy people those two.

I have known Jack and Gwen for not too long. But, other than C, they are the only people from Stellenbosch to see my paintings! It was so uplifting to speak to them about my paintings, which I have been so shy about. To hear their encouraging words about my talent really boosts my confidence.

I am therefore grateful to Jack and Gwen (I will call them J&G) because their visit to view my art,  meant the world to me. Though it is not the visit that is special. It is the friendship. The kind of friendship that lessens my fear of Stellenbosch.

Looking back to a year ago, Stellenbosch was a very scary place because I feared that I will not fit in or I will never be clever enough. (I am now babbling. My allergic reactions are worsening. Spring is not good for me).

I would not say that now I fit in well or that I am cleverer, but I am less fearful because of J&G and a whole lot of people who smiled and said that Stellenbosch is not so bad.

So, Stellenbosch is now listening to me, not because I speak any better, but because I see that Stellenbosch has J&G, who are not after all too different from me. Maybe, they too have fears and so they understand me.