In conversation with the True Artist (II)

I walked, but as one with nowhere to go
I spoke, but as one who had no conviction
I wanted to believe, but I was one who had lost faith
I only saw the bad, thinking that there was no hope
Around me, only voices of doom
Those I saw, knew not how to smile
And so I too, forgot what it was to smile, to laugh, to love
I forgot to trust, I was alone

Then you, saying almost nothing, voicing no words
You told me of a hidden world of wonder
Barely knowing my story, you already knew my life
Hardly spending time, yet seeming to stretch your presence infinitely
Gently, pointing out the rising sun, even though you lifted not a finger
How you do this, astounds me!
How special you are, how overpowering yet so calming

It took me a while to balance this force of energy that you are
It was with great effort that I now distill what I can handle
As I leave out that which is too profound or too disturbing
Yes, you are very disturbing
For you question everything I knew, everything I want to know
You shake my very foundations, my lifelong tenets
So that now, I start afresh as I build slowly on these learnings

I wonder though, why it had to be done this way
Would it not have been better to warn me of your power?
Should you not hide your strength when faced with my weakness?
Could you not have eased me into this new world slowly and delicately?
Is this not why I speak of the cruelty of an Angel?
But I know you never answer any of my questions
This too makes me wonder if all these is not just a dream