A dying Artist

The Artist is not happy
This blog is not happy either
I have neglected the Art and the Blog in pursuit of science
Conferences, workshops, presentations, so much research!
This is not good for the Artist

It is the Art that makes me, Me
The research: anyone can do that
But no one can paint like me
Because no one feels what I feel
No one can hold my tears like the canvas does
No one can capture my sadness 
And no one can hold and twist this pain into such beautiful, heart rending stories
Only the Artist can do this

When I was at the bottom of the abyss
Having lost all hope
Knowing nothing but endless failure
The Artist gave me a chance
And the Angel gave me a reason

Outside the abyss, I can't see the art
The Angel is no more an Angel
The Artist too is not making art 

I see no way out of this
For I fear to enter the Abyss
But outside the Abyss, I cannot make art
I fear to listen to the Muse
Yet only the Muse speaks of Art

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