'Cum Laude' Reloaded!

I got complaints from many (two) of my readers that my previous post 'cum laude' is incomprehensible. Meaning that it is a bunch of words, strung together but not making much sense. So I decided to tell that story again in other words.
This 'cum laude' story started on a cold windy night, (take that with a grain of salt), when I was wondering how I could make my life even harder than it already was. 'Ooh, ooh, I know, why don't we register for a course that we absolutely have no time for?' came the answer from my empty brain. And in that way I found myself in a one week course offered by the university, and made worse by an assignment of 6000 words with a deadline that was humanly impossible to beat.
In summary, I handed in the assignment on time, for which I almost got a cum laude. So now you will think I learnt my lesson and will not attend anymore courses. No. I did not. I am starting a new course today, that is not just one but TWO weeks long! I do not even remember registering for this one. I must have done so when I was high. But wait, I do not even drink! How did this happen? Someone...anyone...
If I survive the next two weeks, you will be the first to hear of it. Meanwhile, my art is fantastic. I have so many paintings that I am desperate to sell, so that I can pay for a very expensive holiday if I do eventually graduate from my doctoral studies.
How can you help? you ask. Well, You can start by viewing my artwork and buying some of it. I promise you, I will enjoy that holiday so much and post scandalous pictures of me having fun immoderately on some island somewhere. Kindly assist me in achieving this.