Beyond Thirty

The thirties are those years when the body slowly starts to dictate what one can or cannot do. For me, being over thirty means that I have to give up so many of my sinful ways, not because my conscience has finally caught up with me but because the body has categorically refused to accommodate these sins any longer.

Take for example, the hard decision I had to take a few days ago to give up red wine. It was the last type of alcohol that I could still take after being forced to abandon anything stronger awhile back. Now, even just one glass of red wine has terrible effects on me: severe dehydration, muscle fatigue, hangover and a feeling of general malaise that lasts way longer than is acceptable.

If I make the mistake of adding a whole night of dancing to the wine then I get double the punishment and three days down time as I recover. So now, against my inclination, I will resort to drinking green tea when I go out.

I will also try not to exaggerate with the dancing. My poor back can't withstand such cruel treatment any further. This same back made me give up high heels as well, though once in a while I pull off a modest two-inch wedge, but that is as far as I can go. By listening to my body thus, I hope it will reward me with many more years of service and beauty.

I share this experience hoping that anyone approaching thirty will hearken to my wise admonitions: Give up the sugar, alcohol, anything deep fried, and all other forms of debauchery.

My 26 year old friend, who was gobbling down fried chips, did listen to such words from me. I told him: 'K, in four years time these chips will layer around your abs and gone will be your trim physique'. And just like that, his appetite dissipated.

I am thinking of starting a movement: 'Beyong thirty'. K can be one of my first initiates.