Delicious triatheletes

Every once a week, I do my own mini triathlon. You see, I am in Stellenbosch, a town that attracts international athletes in the summer. I drool when I see the bikers, and swimmers and runners, they look so well toned! Unfortunately I am too old to train for competitive sport, but nobody is stopping me from keeping fit. One thing I have to do before I leave this town is participate in one of it's many races, even if I finish last, if I finish at all. In the very least I will have a good view in front of me the entire time.
My internet service provider is frustrating my efforts at becoming an artist, so please forgive me if I don’t sound so interesting today. I am actually very exasperated by the frequent disconnections which prevent me from keeping up with my fans from all over the world. I have half a mind to call their office and hurl abuses at the receptionist and round it off with a volley of curses at the IT guys. But then after that, I will have to beg them to reconnect me because, despite their inefficiencies, they still are the cheapest and most reliable.
For a long time I was averse to the idea of being too active on social media. (Sorry for jumping around topics, my day has been turned on its head by my disconnection. I am so miserable right now. I have achieved close to nothing and the day is half over.) I find it promiscuous to expose my life this way. And with it, comes the possibility of attracting crazed fans in the name of stalkers. Aah, the price of fame.  My life is not my own anymore.
I am going for a swim now.