I have this friend who is an excellent orator. The girl can present for an hour without looking at any notes. I always imagine that her brain is slightly larger than average because she also has an astounding memory and a great knack for numbers.
When I first started working with her I felt inadequate because I could not match up to her high standards. I was trying to be like her and I sucked at it. It dawned on me recently though, that I should rather work on being myself, and that seems to be turning out quite well because, as you may guess, I am very good at being me! How did I not know this before?
Most of my adult life I have been fighting my weaknesses because that is what conventional culture, premised on rational thought, teaches me to do. A rational human being is expected to conform to the norms of society that are predicated on an absolute truth that cannot be questioned. Yet the real world that I see is much more complex and relative, where, what we are made to believe are clear-cut boundaries between right and wrong are, rather fuzzy. (I am in danger of loosing half my readers if I continue with this line of argument so, back to my clever friend).
She is good at what she does but I am even better at what I do. I now try not to fight but to work with nature. I play up my strengths rather than play down my weaknesses. So when I discover what seems to be a flaw in my character, I don't flagellate myself in an attempt to wipe away my sins, I just re-direct the energy. That is why I am such a great artist now because I have learnt to use my passion (and hopefully make some money out of it) rather than fight it.