Good does come out of evil

I tend to oscillate between extremes; sometimes I am really good and when I am bad, its nasty. Often though I tend to be moderate and not too controversial. But I have discovered that its the extremes that inspire me. Moderate means that I am ordinary and I want to fit in; boring. Just letting myself go is what I would really like to do. Then I remember all my obligations and duties and I am back to earth again. But those few moments when I get to be my alter ego usually gets me into trouble but also gives me good stories for my art. And the bigger the trouble the better the stories. For now I have enough stories to get me through like a hundred paintings or so which says something about the kind of trouble I got myself into. So big that I started to write poetry again. But my poetry is very rudimentary and so its buried in my drawings, and its very therapeutic. I write all the bad things that I feel or have happened to me then I have to draw over them because I want to get over them. Like this sketch which I hope I can put onto canvas but I doubt it will be the same; my ideas change so much when I move from paper to canvas that both become artworks in their own right.